Sunday, November 13, 2011

Acceptable Gender Behavior?: A Rant

The last few weeks I've seen this traveling around the interwebs with captions like, "So true!" "This is spot on!" "See? Calm down ladiez!" "This happens all of the time in my house!" "Awesome."

I'll be honest and tell you that this royally pisses me off. 

Yes,  I am aware that this may be how the two different genders operate internally and that this does happen, but let's really analyze this. What I'm reading is a story about a totally insecure little girl who never graduated 7th grade and a guy who is too ignorant to consider anything beyond his own scope of understanding--I feel this is far more pathetic than it is funny. 

Before you dismiss me as another crazy feminist, just humor me for a second. Should we really be laughing at this display of stereotyped gender miscommunication? Or should we learn from it? I vote the latter.

Men: I'm fully aware that of the two sexes, you're less in touch with you feelings and have a more difficult time expressing your thoughts. But I have only this say, if you want to be worthy of being with a woman who is your partner and not just your mother part II, stop acting like a glorified toddler. You have words. Use them. A few simple words of reassurance is all it takes to let your girlfriend or wife know that you care about her, but that you're frustrated about your motorcycle (or what haveyou), not her. Clearly she's upset, realize she's a human being worthy of communicating with and do it. Now. Was that SO hard? I get that Hollywood extols unintelligent males and it's become accepted behavior, but seriously, caveman, this is the 21st century, man up. The ball is in your court. Share what you're thinking about your wife instead of being withholding and then blaming her for her "psychotic behavior." It's time to grow up.

Women: If your thoughts are this wrapped around your man's every word, thought and move, you need to get a life. True, sometimes I worry unnecessarily about my own relationship, and monthly hormones don't help, but seriously. Take a deep breath and realize that God created you to be your own person and not your husband's keeper. If you're dating someone who is withholding like this, guess what he'll be that way when you get married. If it's too much to handle now, it will only get worse, so turn your gaze to greener pastures. However, if you're already married, it's time to talk to you husband. Don't be a nag. No one likes a nag. But explain to him that you married him because you love him and respect him and because you respect him so much you value his thoughts and feelings. Marriages are only hurt by lack of communication and even if it's unrelated or unimportant, let him know that acting like a pouting child and not telling you what's going on is not going to fly. If he says everything is fine, he's probably telling the truth, but let him know early on that you are marrying a man and not a child, therefore, you expect him to act like one. Then, get a hobby. Let him be a man, step up or not, and don't nag him, but realize your happiness and who you are does not depend on your husband's behavior. 

There. Now I feel much better.


d'Artagnan said...

Took the words right out of my mouth. Amen, sister.

Danielle Barden said...

Go you! I believe you are absolutely right. Glad someone said something logical about this thing that has been going around.

Charis said...

Great post! It's only too easy to stop communicating with your partner but your post is a good reminder of why it's so important.

Nadine-Adele ♥ said...

You are absolutely right! Great post!

Marie said...

I vote the latter too!

***** Marie *****

Rebecca said...

so true. spot on. you are wonderful!

Unknown said...

I'm with you on this rant. well said!

ps- I've got a giveaway going on now & would love for you to stop by :)