Thursday, December 31, 2009

Next year's words await another voice

The year 2009 has been a whirlwind and I have to say I'm sad to see it go! It truly was a wonderful for me! I feel like I found my true self, finally. After a harrowing year before, I felt like I was in the middle of a big struggle this time last year. However, I'm glad to look back and see I came out of it triumphantly and have been so blessed by and because of everything I've learned.

I considered doing a list of things accomplished this year, like I did last year, but for some reason that doesn't seem right. Life in general, let alone living in France, dozens of crazy encounters with my best friends, and falling in love can hardly be summed up in bullet points.

2009 was the year of loved ones. I can't begin to count the blessing bestowed upon me and those around me through the love I've given and been given. If anything, I finally understood Mother Teresa's words, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only love."

I'm really looking forward to what 2010 has to offer and waiting for God surprise me, and us all, like He always does. So here's to adventure, growth, love, peace, patience, and life in the new year!

"For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice." - T. S. Elliot


Bonne Année mes amis! :) Je vous aime. :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

I'll be happy when...

I was listening to White Christmas today:

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the one's I used to know
Where the tree tops glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow

And the thought occured to me how much I miss Colorado and the white Christmases my family used to enjoy. And then I caught myself thinking, "I bet Christmas would be perfect if it were snowing." However, if I've learned anything from leaving one life to find another it is that change of circumstances never makes anything perfect. In fact, it barely, if at all, makes anything better. You can leave, you can arrive, you can have and lose, but nothing truly changes.

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard "When I'm married..." or "When I'm rich..." or "When I get this job..." or "When I do..." And I'd be lying if I were to say that none of these phrases have ever crossed my mind or lips, but I've decided phrases like this lend to the idea of conditional happiness and we're surrounded by them. I'll be happy when...

Why can't we be happy now? What is it we think we're going to get with money or fame or marriage? I pray for you, dear reader, as well as myself, that your happiness has nothing to do with what you have or achieve, but with who you are in Christ at this very moment.

May all your Christmases be white,

Nicole