Sunday, April 5, 2009


I've been blown away in the past two months how much people have confided in me saying, "I hate who I am." Whether it's being a womanizer or just being a jerk to people or just whatever. I really admire those of us who are honest enough with ourselves to see a flaw or sin in our lives and have the ability to pinpoint it and the desire to change it.

HOWEVER, I'm also amazed by the same people, much more often than not, who tell me that they can't change it. It's who they are. And I understand it. Sometimes something, like a sin (mean thoughts, lying, stealing, etc) becomes so ingrained in our thoughts/actions that it BECOMES us. But as William Shakespeare said, "If you do not contain a virtue, obtain it."

In other words, I understand that we screw up and our sins can become our habit, but that is not who we are, unless we allow it to be who we want to be. If you really want to change and you really want to like who you are, you're going to have to change. You're going to have to starve that monster inside of you until it is dead. Good and dead. And you know what? It's gonna hurt. It's going to be painful and inconvenient and it's going to feel unnatural. But I've found that where we allow our flesh and worldly desires/habits to die within ourselves there isn't a void, there's only Grace and God fills it with something unimaginably good. 

So the next time you think to yourself, "I hate X about myself." Don't beat yourself up endlessly and never change! Realize that God sent His Son to die so you could be forgiven and be FREE from whatever that thing is. Then allow that thing to die and you may be surprised what you find its place... but you can't hope it goes away. Like I said, the best way to kill a monster is to starve it. 

"And You said, 'I know that this will hurt,
But if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse.
And if the burden seems too much to bear, remember,
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.'" 
- Relient K

1 comment:

b said...

its like the postsecret "I'd do anything to lose weight except exercise."

its way easier to complain about how we are then to actually fix it.
but then again, the first step to fixing is to realize there's a problem...
even if it does take years and years to actually take the next step to start to change.