Thursday, December 11, 2008

You never let go

Sometimes I feel like God harasses me. I don't mean that to be flippant or funny, but it's really true. He disturbs my ways of thinking and does whatever it takes to make me aware of His presence. When I feel I just want to be left alone in the dark to experience peace, every time it's as if God shakes my soul and says something to the effect of, "I WILL SHOW YOU PEACE". 

And as resistant and hesitant (aka stupid and blind) as I can be sometimes and as much as I struggle against going His way sometimes, I've kind of gotten to a place in life where I'll allow myself to wallow in self-pity and really allow myself to feel those horrible feelings and share them with God, only to stick out my hand and say, "Lead the way. Where you lead I will follow."

It's here that I experience peace and it's here that I'm so thankful that God doesn't stop bugging me and doesn't stop pushing me to grow. I like who I have become much more than I have ever liked myself before. 

Thank You God, for never letting me go no matter how I may protest. 

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