Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful for the Blessing and the Lesson

Recently, I was talking with a friend about prayer life and I noted how often I find myself telling God how I'm going to do things. For example, I often catch myself saying things like, "God, please help me to show X person love by doing X" or "God, please help me to be more loving and patient by doing X." However, as he suggested, I'm finding it so true that God doesn't make you more loving or patient or anything like that, but give you the opportunity to be more loving, patient, etc. 

Another thing I've noticed lately is how reluctant I am to share my "life story" with people--not because I'm ashamed, but because, frankly, it really is sad! And I just hate when people feel sorry for me and try to help me or feel they need to fix me. To be honest, I just wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I'm so thankful for every disappointment and scar I carry because they have taught me to love and to know joy in a way I feel lots of people just can't understand. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I think I'm a happy person, not because I am always in a good mood, but because I have been blessed with opportunity after opportunity to find happiness and light in the dark :-) and I'm just so thankful. 

"It was when I was happiest that I longed most... The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing... to find the place where all the beauty came from" - C.S. Lewis 


Laura said...

i thought i was RSS subscribed to your blog until like two days ago and i realized i was not getting updates and you'd posted like 10 times...

but i am glad i can now read it! :-)
keep writing!
i'm now a fan of blogging.

b said...

i love you, and i think you're amazing.

Nicole Jeannette said...

I think you're amazing! both of you!