Monday, June 9, 2008

Tick Tock...

I'm starting my junior year of college in 2 months. Well, technically I'm a junior already, but who knows when I'm going to graduate? I don't know if it will be on time or early yet. 

I'm thinking about adding a second minor in education so I have the option to get my masters in one year (instead of two) to get a teaching degree. But again, who knows. 

Ever since I changed my major people keep asking me, "So what do you want to do with that?"

And due to the fact that I've had a lot of alone time lately, that question is beginning to drive me nuts because it has been playing and replaying like a broken record in my head... and I don't have an answer.

I could be a great teacher, but I never wanted to be a teacher. I think I would be great writer, but is that what I'm called to do? Do I write for Christian things? Do I write for Music Business things? 

I used to want to be a lot of things, but really I just don't know where God is calling me. Where is a burning bush when you need it, right? I don't know how one action will change another and don't know how or what to do. I don't know how my personal life will affect my career or visa versa. I don't know where God wants me. Maybe I do but I'm just to afraid? I don't know. I am a plan person. Even if I don't like the end result I like to have a plan.  I still wish I just knew what is going on and what will be going on and I wish I knew and could be happy with the result. I love my life, but I'm afraid to make decisions now because I can't handle if they change later. I guess I'm kind of on hold right now until further notice. The only hard part is not knowing what will come next. 

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