Sunday, March 23, 2008

the grass is always greener on the other side of the pond

It's my not so secret dream to study abroad.
I'd love to go to France or England. I'd love to visit, but I'd really love to study there. The idea thrills me to the core. I can just imagine what it is like to take the train in Paris trying to get to class on time in a town where I don't know the language (very well) or anybody. I think trying to save my books and myself from the English rain or working on my laptop in a French Bistro would be a very fulfilling feeling. I've never met a stranger before and I would love either attempting to get over the language barrier or getting to know people who, while they are technically my peers, grew up in a world completely different from my own. I would love staying up late at night and just watching the cities die down. I've always wanted to use the train system in Europe. On the weekends I'd visit small places like Liverpool, Normandy, and Nice (one of the nicest people I've ever met was from Normandy). I'd want to see the grave of C.S. Lewis, Hyde Park, and the Big Ben. I'd want to see Versailles, the Eiffel Tower, and Notre Dame. 
I really want to experience everything... but that, frankly, I could do most of those things on any visit. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to just visit someday! 

It's just that I want to study there to prove that I can do it--to be away and by myself. 

I want to know what it's really like to miss home... or if I would. I know I would miss people... especially him. And, to tell the truth, it won't happen because I just can't afford it. But even if I could, I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do it. No, I take that back. I would go, but I don't know if I'd be miserable or happy. I'm sure it would help me appreciate who I've got here. 

Who knows, maybe God has something planned for me here instead, but I guess I'll just have to wonder what it would have been like and what I would have done. I know Jack Johnson said "Don't let your dreams be dreams", but sometimes I think some things are left better as dreams... who knows when you'll pave paradise to put up a parking lot. 

Love wins.  

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